


Glimpses

by tsukinotsurugi (forgetfulAmoeba)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Other, Tea, allusion to characters' deaths - acwnr, canonverse, discussion of Hange's gender, non-binary Hange, please suspend your powers of disbelief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 00:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20573399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetfulAmoeba/pseuds/tsukinotsurugi
Summary: (Or, 2 times it was about tea and one time it wasn't)An exploration of the relationship between Levi and Hange in the space between ACWNR and manga events.





	Glimpses

**Author's Note:**

> Self-indulgently writing the stories I want to read I guess.

His eyes snap open. Even so he can still see them, in the distance, knowing that he's too far away, knowing that he won't get to them in time, but it doesn't stop him from trying, Isabel calls for her big brother, Farlan makes a farewell salute...

He takes in controlled breaths of air, willing his heart to slow down, which it finally does somewhat, but he's still much too agitated to close his eyes and is sure as hell not going back to sleep again. Making as little noise as possible he eases his way out of his bunk, feeling around in the dark for his shirt and trousers. When he is decent he leaves the dorms heading for the mess, wondering if and how he can rustle up a bit of hot water and by some minor miracle find some tea even...

"Nightmares?"

He spins around at the voice, knife in hand before the thought even registers, ready to slash at the throat of the interloper, before he catches himself and slips the knife quickly up his sleeve. He opts to glare daggers at the intruder instead.

"Still jittery huh?" asks Hange, completely oblivious to the reception they're getting or how close to death they nearly came. "I bet you're looking to make a tea or something aren't you? I have just the thing!", they exclaim. "Hang on, let me go get my supplies!" They race away before he can stop them. 

Huh. Minor miracles do happen. He stands in the dark corridor, unsure of what to do in the meantime when the pounding footsteps return, grab his arm and lead him to a small room. It appears to be some kind of lounge room with a stove and tea making facilities. Pushing him towards the table in the middle of the room with a "Sit, sit!", Hange busies themselves with filling up a kettle, boiling up some water and shaking something from a twist of paper into a teapot. Grabbing a mug while filling the teapot, they bring both to the table, causing an almighty clatter all round. Levi can't help but wonder how the whole barracks isn't awake at this point. Finally, after waiting the prerequisite few minutes, Hange pours the tea out into the mug and pushes it over to Levi. "Here you go!"

He looks at the brew. It's the wrong colour.

"This isn't tea."

"Well, it's not black tea, it's made from chamomile, valerian root and lavender, among other things, good for stress and anxiety and for getting you all sleepy and relaxed again!"

"Tea helps me relax."

"Actually, it does the opposite! I've found that tea makes a person more alert and keeps them awake, but also, drink too much and you'll end up getting the jitters!"

Levi suspects this is first hand experience talking, the first hand experience that has probably already imbibed their one cup too many. He eyes the mug suspiciously. It smells bad. "Go on try it! It's really not that bad." 

They're wrong. It tastes worse. The light floral flavour does nothing to mask the strong earthy taste, and the thought that he might in fact be drinking extract of something that died is just too much for him. He puts the mug down.

"I can't drink this. It tastes like shit."

Their face falls. "Oh. Well. And after all my attempts to tweak the recipe too."

Wonderful. So he'd just been a guinea pig to a lunatic experiment.

Hange sighs. "I'd been working on it to help the soldiers when they come back from an expedition, it's hard on everyone, especially the first-timers, and some people get so upset after, I was hoping it would help, guess I need to take a look at trying some other ingredients instead, run a few more taste tests..."

They sit there contemplating, lost in their thoughts.

Levi lifts the mug again. He doesn't know why. He holds his nose and drinks up.

Hange stares at him.

"Levi, what? But you just said it was terrible!"

"It's not that bad actually," he concedes.

"You didn't have to." But he could see they were smiling. "But, you do like tea don't you? I'll see about trying to get some for you!"

They bustle about again, this time with clearing the things away, shooing away Levi's attempts to help, although on seeing what Hange considers to be cleaning up, if he can't help he doesn't really want to be here either.

When he leaves he realises he has no idea what Hange was doing out in the middle of the night in the first place.

He never gets to ask.

·~·~·~·

On the shitty list of things that you never knew you had till they were gone, he had never noticed how much he'd actually gotten used to being in the Survey Corps in spite of his apathy, and how empty and lonely it felt now that he was on his own.

If the soldiers were distant before, it's gotten worse since the expedition. Between the rumours that he singlehandedly took down six or so titans to the curious circumstances in which he was the only one of his squad who survived, his reception ranged from more fearful to more hostile. Frankly, it wasn't much different to how he was viewed in the underground, except that stabbing wasn't a viable option to solving his problems here. Granted, Erwin did his best to smooth things along, but even as squad leader there was only so much that he could do, and it wasn't his job to babysit Levi either. And with the buffer of his little family gone, he became more recalcitrant, his abrasive attitude ensuring that nobody else interacted willingly with him outside of official activities.

Except for a particularly nosy person.

"Levi!" They come up from behind thumping him on the back. "We're going for drinks at the local bar! Come with us!"

"No."

They pull a face. "Awww, come on! It's the only chance we'll have for another month at least! Are you worried about whether you're allowed to? Erwin! Levi's cleared to leave the grounds, isn't he?"

"Of course." 

"See? Now you don't have any reason not to! Look, if it's money you're worried about I can pick up the tab for you! You can pay me back when we get our allowance next!"

Oh God. Looks like there was only one way to put an end to this. He quickly muttered "I'll come," before they had anything worse to add, "and you don't have to pay for me."

Not that he's sure whether Hange's heard the second half over all the whooping they're making, but he wasn't going to repeat himself.

-

He is quiet, and the heat and noise are starting to get to him. He's sat there listening to the others trade stories for the last hour or so but it's all been a blur to him. Hange made a beeline for the bar the moment they walked in and came back with a beer for him, but he didn't like the taste of it and spent the next hour nursing it slowly, refusing offers of another round. He gets up, hoping to slip away without attracting any notice to his departure, but,

"Are you going back now? I'll go with you!"

Throwing their head back, Hange downs the last of their drink before scrambling off their seat and joining him.

Erwin gets up too. "I think I should head back as well."

Ah well, so much for a quiet escape.

They make their goodbyes and the three of them make their way back to the barracks, with Hange chatting animatedly jumping from one topic to the next and Erwin responding with appropriate noises now and again. Neither comments on Levi's silence or lack of participation.

As they enter the barracks though, Hange asks, "Hey Levi, actually, would you like some tea? The real thing!" they wink. 

Erwin raises an eyebrow. "Oh? And dare I ask where this tea is coming from?"

"From the special supply, of course! Keith isn't around at the moment, so it's no problem to sneak into his office for the key in his drawer to unlock the cabinet of off-limit goods to 'borrow' a caddy! He'll never notice!"

"And how do you know all this?"

Unexpectedly, Hange blushes. "Umm... I've just been making some observations, okay? Anyway, you guys just go on ahead to the lounge, and I'll meet you there with the goods!" they grin.

They're off like a shot before anybody can respond, so there is no option but to do as they're told and Erwin and Levi make their way to the lounge. Once there, Erwin fills and sets a kettle of water to heat before assembling the required tea ware while Levi uses the waiting time to give the premises a once over. Hange arrives before the water boils and Levi takes charge of the brewing while the other two set out the table, and then they all sit down to their tea.

With steaming cups before them, Hange and Erwin continue where they left off. Again, they make no mention that Levi does not say anything, but it never feels like he's being ignored. In fact, it feels like the opposite, that they are drawing him into their conversation but giving him space, that they instinctively know there's no need to push him, that he'll contribute if he has something to say. And that understanding is strangely touching, the atmosphere uncannily like times he's had with Isabel and Farlan, although now it's Hange talking nineteen to the dozen and Erwin interjecting and occasionally trying to talk some sense into them, while he's overseeing the situation. He feels at home here, and the thought makes the back of his eyes prickle.

Erwin, sharp as always, picks up on his mood almost immediately. "Levi, are you alright?"

Before he can make any reply, Mike sticks his head through the door. "I smell tea. The good stuff," he adds.

"It's gone a little cold now, but if you don't mind, you're more than welcome to join us for a cup." Erwin replies.

Mike joins the table. He doesn't talk much either, and it's hard to know if he's there for the tea or the company, but it doesn't matter. Hange has enough enthusiasm for everybody, and the dimly lit room buzzes with a warm comfort.

The tea is finished long before they decide to end things and call it a night. As they leave, Hange turns to him and says, "I hope you had a good time tonight!"

It is with a bit of surprise that Levi realises that in fact, he did.

·~·~·~·

"Hange, what are you?"

"Huh?"

It's something that Levi had started to wonder about. Granted, it doesn't matter, there is no distinction in treatment on account of gender here in the military, but, he realises that he can't place Hange. He doesn't know what dorm they're in, they seem to be permanently living in the lab that they work in when they're not on some other duty. Something that's just such an obvious part of everyone is a complete mystery in Hange.

But Hange, defies any classification.

He feels like they're close enough to broach the subject.

"Like, are you a man or a woman?"

"I'm Hange," they say with a twinkle in their eye.

"I mean-," he makes some vague arm wavy motions at his chest downwards.

"What bits I have under my clothes? Oh Levi, and all this while I thought you weren't interested in doing those sort of things," they wink and waggle their eyebrows.

He chokes and takes a few steps back in panic, no, he didn't mean it like that. "I just-"

Hange hoots and grins manically. "It's okay, I'm just messing with you! Well... it doesn't matter what I have, does it? I am whatever you think!"

"And what am I supposed to think?"

"Whatever you like!"

Sheesh, he wasn't getting anywhere with this.

Suddenly, they sober up and continue softly, closing their eyes, "Hah... I wish I knew myself. Some days I feel like one or the other, and some days I feel like being either just a man or a woman isn't enough? It would be nice if the insides could fit the outside. And besides, it doesn't matter anyway. Some people are going to think whatever they want about me no matter what I say. I'm a freak of nature-"

"You're Hange." Levi cuts in.

Hange breaks off, opening their eyes in surprise, but then their face lights up, and they jump on Levi with a massive squeal, grabbing and squeezing him tight.

"Oh, Levi, thank you!"

"Get off me, shitty glasses. You stink."

And eventually, when he does find out what bits they have under their clothes, he finds that they are right. It really doesn't matter.

·~·~·~·

He doesn't know how it happened but here he is.  
He's lost his old family, but it looks like he might have gained another. In the outer circle, his squad and the vets. And in the inner circle, the one who brought him here, and the one who weaselled their way in.

And he's more than alright with it.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise for the superfluous use of exclamation marks in Hange's dialogue, and I hope that the discussion of Hange's gender did not come off as too unreasonable :p  
Also, valerian root really stinks.


End file.
